A boy is abandoned by his father at a tender age. There is no denying that this kind of event leaves a festering wound in a child. As he grows to adulthood, it has a tremendous influence on his world view. When he’s grown, what happens to his relationship with his own child? Abandonment has become commonplace in our times, due to divorce or blatant neglect and separation.
Once grown, the hurt may cause him to mirror the behavior of his wayward father, or act entirely the opposite. Either way, it’s sure to have an impact. Wounds from such events get passed along from parent to child to grandchild to great grandchild. This is one example of the Bible’s several references to sin passed on to the fourth generation. At some point somebody has to say, “It stops here.”
I address this in my novel by portraying the father as a gruff, angry and pragmatic man. He left school at an early age to help support his family. It toughened him. He made his own way and wants to pass that along for his son’s own good. In a perverse way, his negative message is his act of love, yet he cannot say the simple words, “I love you.” He is passing along a heritage of bitterness to the next generation. In the case of these two characters, it is up to the son to stop the cycle by playing out a role reversal.
If this has happened in your family, what kind of behavior do you see? Is the wound passed to the next generation or have you found resolution?
The Gamemaker's Father 
It’s hard to respond. I’ve been thinking about it all week. My husband’s father walked away from his family, just like that. I learned about it from Grandma. Now, from the stories I’ve heard about that man, I can see that my husband is really a lot him. So it is passed down from generation to generation. I wish I could stop it. I don’t want my son to pick up the wrong thing.
Okay Ann, if you can open up, so can I. Our story isn’t really a secret in our family or our church.
Suicide is a kind of abandonment. My husband’s grandfather killed himself. I’m sure he never considered the devastating effect that would have on his offspring. As a result of his action, his son (my husband’s father) was always a morose man and difficult to be around. He seemed angry at the world. He rarely smiled. He made a suicide attempt in his old age. Yes, behavior is passed along through the generations.
My husband and I have taken the stand that it stops with this generation. I support him and we work hard to keep our thoughts captive to Christ. We will not pass this evil heritage to our children.