Category Archives: loop lonagan

September 25, 2019 · 3:38 pm

DON’T GO BELLY UP

by Loop Lonagan

Sleep never comes easy when you’re building the next great tech giant from scratch. Every idle moment gets overwhelmed with a flood of notions, fears, and phone calls. You know what I’m talking about. Those extra hours you squeeze out every day and all that risk you carry on your back are killers. Keep pushing and something’s gotta give—brain, body, business—one of them goes belly up for sure. What’s that I hear? That won’t happen, you say? Believe me, whenever you tough it out too long, your personality gets so severe that nobody can stand working with you. From time to time, a CEO has to refresh, rejuvenate, reboot. You know it and I know it, so listen up. Continue reading →

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Tagged as bueters salmon camp, camp, camping, decompress, fighting fish, fishing, fly fishing, flyfishing, king salmon, reboot, refresh, rejuvenate, salmon, salmon camp, stress, thrill, vacation, weekend getaway, weekend trip

August 5, 2019 · 6:32 pm

THIS AIN’T CHICAGO

by Mark T Wayne

For a week I have endured close association with that foul animal, Loop Lonagan. The more I learn about the man, the more I like my dog. Now, Old Man Ludditis wants a rundown on our trip to Chicago’s hottest startup, so we’re both here at his bar, drinking his liquor. Continue reading →

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Tagged as alternate activity, angler, angling, big fish, canada, canadian lodge, fisherman, fishermen, fishing, fishing trip, huge northern pike, huge pike, Manitoba, north star, north star executive outpost, northern pike, trophy fish, trophy northern pike, trophy pike, vacation, walleye

June 16, 2018 · 9:00 am

TOP OF THE LIST

by Mark T Wayne

“Admirable! Superlative! Top of the list! Gentlemen, you are indeed fortunate that I invited you here!” I study the greedy faces of my two compatriots—the estimable Donatas Ludditis (good old Don) as well as the execrable Loop Lonagan and his stinking bull terrier, Clamps. (Claims it’s a therapy dog.) We are here as judges, along with a crowd of luminaries from Chicago’s startup community for the finals of the tenth annual POWER PITCH competition. Today we will hear pitches from a host of exciting new companies. Yes sir! The enthusiasm is riveting.

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Tagged as Gifted, gifted high school, gifted students, High IQ, High School, high school for the gifted, highly gifted, highly intelligent, highly intelligent students, IMSA, Intelligent, precocious, school for the gifted, startup, startup companies, startup company

March 2, 2018 · 7:00 am

JUST WRONG

Remembering the Olympics

by John Jonelis

“That’s just wrong!” says Loop Lonagan as he grabs his remote control, skips ahead on the DVR, and a major Olympic event flashes by the screen too fast to recognize. We immediately voice our outrage—all of us: Mark T Wayne, William Shakes, Donatas Ludditis, and me.

T.WAYNE – “Go back—go back you idiot!”

ME – “What’d we just miss?”

T.WAYNE – “The entire race—that’s what we missed! Execrable!” Continue reading →

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Tagged as doubles luge, how to watch sports, how to watch the olympics, Loop Lonagan, luge, olympics, watching the olympics, winter olympics

July 20, 2017 · 7:00 am

SECRETS DARK AND OLD

by John Jonelis

“I still say da guy deserves what he got. He ran down dat poor animal on purpose! Hates squirrels. Says so in da papers.” So proclaims Loop Lonagan regarding Alderman Brookins of Chicago’s 21^st Ward. Continue reading →

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Tagged as Alderman Howard Brookins Jr, Bar, bicycle accident, chicago machine, chicago machine politics, chicago politics, commie, communist, cruelty to animals, eastern gray squrrels, politics, rat control, rat control problem, scapegoat, squirrel extermination, squirrels, tavern

June 30, 2017 · 8:00 am

THE JOB INTERVIEW WITH WILLIAM SHAKES

by Mark T Wayne

We’re here to interview some reprobate named William Shakes for the job of special correspondent. I do not know why I’m a part of this. No sir! Continue reading →

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Tagged as anachronism, bad interview, bad job interview, Chicago Venture Magazine, how to answer interview questions, how to conduct an interview, human resource department, human resources, Jim Kren, job interview, key intervew questions, Loop Lonagan, mark T wayne, mark twain, psychological interview questions, recruiter, recruiter questions, Will Shakes, William Shakes, william shakespeare

February 27, 2017 · 7:00 am

HAT TRICK

by John Jonelis

He can feel it, hear it—his heart—beating hard, beating fast. Pounding above the din of those big nubbly tires and the blast of snow hitting the wheel wells. Is it anticipation? Fear? Primeval blood lust?

How will it feel to gun down a living animal? Can he really pull the trigger?

Today, Loop Lonagan joins seven seasoned hunters and four highly trained dogs to indulge in what his editor calls one of the great joys in life—slaughtering a few of God’s creatures. He’s a last-minute stand-in and rounds out the party to eight. Two hunters per dog. Perfect! How did he let himself get roped into this? Continue reading →

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Tagged as 12 gauge, blaze orange, blizzard, blood lust, double barrel, Game, happy hunter, hunting, meat on the table, over and under, pheasant, primal instinct, pump action, satisfaction, shooting, shot, shotgun, sport, thrill of the hunt, upland game, white out, white out conditions

December 22, 2016 · 7:00 am

BEST GIFT

by Mark T Wayne

“Whaddaya think is da best Christmas gift o’ dem all?” Loop Lonagan puts this puerile question in a peculiar verbal form he calls the American language just as Donatis Ludditis and I innocently raise a Christmas toast at that notable Chicago landmark, Ludditis Shots & Beer. The place offers several distinct advantages. Our host never presents a bill for our proclivities and the back room houses our magazine offices.

“I got best gift! Is this!” Ludditis states his case in his Lithuanian accent, and passes fancy boxes across the table. “This one for you, Mr. Wayne. Is Christmas!” Continue reading →

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Tagged as best birthday gift, best christmas gift, best fishing, best gift, best honeymoon, best vacation, best wedding gift, canada, canada fishing, canadian fishing, cree, cree indians, cree reservation, first nations, Fish, fishing, flin flon, man's favorite sport, north woods, northern pike, northwoods, walley, walleyed pike, wild, Wilderness

November 16, 2016 · 7:00 am

TRUMPED

by John Jonelis

Political outsider elected president! Nationwide shock! Emotions run wild! Markets in turmoil! Worst riots since Orson Wells’ WAR OF THE WORLDS broadcast!

Loop Lonagan watches the mayhem on television. People on the streets shout lewd obscenities—carry hate signs—crawl over cars—destroy businesses—throw bricks at police. “Da theater o’ dee absurd,” Lonagan mutters, “Did deeze folks even vote?” Continue reading →

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Filed under Business, Characters, Education, Influence, Jim Kren, loop lonagan, Politics, Relationships, Story, The Economy

Tagged as benghazi, cheating, chicago politics, Clinton, conspiracy theory, corruption, donald trump, ego, email scandal, ground game, handpicked opponent, Hillary, hillary clinton, liar, lying, machine politics, narcissism, narcissist, politics, president, president elect, rioting, riots, split the ticket, split ticket, stupid voters, the creep and the crook, The Donald, Trump, vote, voters

September 7, 2016 · 7:00 am

HOW BAD IS IT

by Loop Lonagan

Lotsa people keep tellin’ me good things about Bob’s Bad Poetry so I’m checkin’ it out. Yeah, yeah, I know what yer thinkin’. But there’s no law against an angel investor goin’ in fer high culture. That’s right, I like literature ‘n’ modern art too—’specially the abstract stuff. You got some problem with that, bud? Hey, me fodder and me mudder’s both Irish ‘n’ both poets, so’s I got it in da genes. Maybe you already figured that out from da way I talk. Continue reading →

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Tagged as bad poetry, blank verse, bobs bad poetry, bobs poetry, free verse, good poetry, haiku, hard times promote creativity., limerick, poetry, poetry for a living, the business of poetry

May 19, 2016 · 11:03 pm

THROW THE BUM OUT

by John Jonelis

Mark T Wayne hurls his cigar to the barroom floor and grinds it under his heel. “Lonagan, you’re a consummate ass!”

“Shuttup ‘n’ have anudder whiskey.”

“You sir are heavily inebriated.” Wayne’s voice resonates above the noise of the crowded bar. “I know better than to get tight oftener than once in three months.” He lifts his chin and peers down his nose at Loop Lonagan. “It sets a man back in the esteem of people whose opinions are worth having.” Continue reading →

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Tagged as Bar, Bar room, Barroom, bull terrier, Clamps, Courage, Drunk, Drunkard, Exercise machines, Loop Lonagan, mark T wayne, mark twain, Moocher, Norco, Pain pills, Pavlovian PT, Private deals, Samuel Clemens, Strength Training, swedish massage, Therapy

April 15, 2016 · 4:22 pm

THIS AIN’T NO LEMONADE STAND

Loop Lonagan—Verbatim

What if y’could combat starvation by producin’ yer own meat ‘n potatoes—and do it right at da local food bank? Hey, I’m lookin’ at a real working prototype here. What about a solution to student debt? Or, maybe fer yer next birthday party, ever’body plays laser tag with drones? Or learns music real fast? Or gets a little help rememberin’ stuff. I can use summa that. Continue reading →

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