Category Archives: Characters

December 21, 2015 · 6:14 pm

PAVLOVIAN PT

Loop Lonagan

Ever’body’s gettin’ new knees, new hips, and what not. It’s an epidemic of elective surgery. And I’m talkin’ big money. An investor definitely wants in on a trend like this, but what’s da best play?

Take Jonelis, my good friend and boss. Da guy up ‘n’ gets two brand new knees—AT DA SAME TIME! Seems crazy, don’t it? What’s he s’posed to use fer legs?

So right away I gotta play bigshot. I invite John to my penthouse fer da whole rest ‘n’ recovery thing. Yeah, you guessed it—I wanna play Da Good Samaritan over Christmas. I figure they’s gonna carry him in on a stretcher ‘n’ I’ll be da hero that arranges fer all sorts o’ people t’ help out while he’s bedridden. Shows how much I know. Continue reading →

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Tagged as epidemic, free drugs, full knee replacement, home physical therapy, in-home physical therapy, joint replacement, knee replacement, motivation, partial knee replacement, physical therapy, pt

October 31, 2015 · 4:11 pm

DON’T ASK WHY—ASK WHY NOT

by Howard Tullman

How the First Apprentice Winner Became an Entrepreneur

(No, The Donald Didn’t Help):

Bill Rancic readily admits he wasn’t the smartest guy on the show. But in his subsequent career, he has become very smart about getting the most out of the people around him. Continue reading →

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Tagged as 1871, Bill Rancic, Conductor, delegator, do what you fear, don't ask why, don't ask why ask why not, don't tell me, donald trump, habit of learning, Howard Tullman, learn, Learning, life of learning, manage risk, managing risk, mentor, orchestrator, practical execution, Risk, show don't tell, show me, show me don't tell me, start, The Apprentice, why, you can't win a race with your mouth

October 19, 2015 · 9:53 pm

APPLESAUCE AND APPLE

THE FINANCIAL MINDSET OF A NEW GENERATION

Tom McBride and Ron Nief

The students who began college this past fall have a forty percent chance of graduating in four years, and a seventy percent chance of graduating in six. Having grown up in the Great Recession they can rarely take money for granted. They are more interested in money than in love, unlike their parents, who may have grown up as hippie advocates of free love during the far more prosperous 1960s. Continue reading →

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Tagged as Bill Gates, college debt, college kids, college students, great recession, k-mart, kids, Mark Zuckerberg, Mark Zuckerburg, Mark Zukerberg, market crash, medicare, money and love, money or love, money vs love, Mort Zuckerburg, outsourcing, outsourcing jobs, pensions, social security, stock market, stock market crash, Target, Wal-Mart, wall-mart, Walmart

September 21, 2015 · 3:13 am

THE PRICE OF THEIR TOYS

by John Jonelis

The radio crackles, “Cherokee Six, rock yer wings and rock ‘em good.” Jim Kren ignores the command. We’re no Cherokee Six. Is the controller looking at another airplane?

The sky is lousy with traffic converging on one tiny airport Too many planes for back-and-forth radio chatter. Special rules apply. The controller spots incoming with binoculars and radios his instructions—the pilots respond in a kind of airborne sign language. Keying your mike is tantamount to declaring an emergency.

Jim can comply. He can bide his time. Either is dangerous if he’s wrong. Aviation is full of moments like that. The entire air transport system won’t function unless responsible people break the law in just the right way.

Continue reading →

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Tagged as air traffic control, eaa, eaa airventure, eaa fly-in, experimental aircraft, experimental aircraft association, fly in, homebuilt, homebuilt aircraft, oshkosh, oshkosh fly-in, signals

August 25, 2015 · 9:49 pm

THE DRAGON LADY AND THE BIG BAD DUCK

By John Jonelis

■

“Tell me a story, Uncle Loop.”

“Okay Princess, that’s what I’m here for. First let’s get you all tucked in and ready fer bed.” Loop Lonagan sits back in the chair and opens the news app on his phone. “Let’s see what we got here.” He runs down the headlines.

“GANG SHOOTING ON HALSTED—No that’ll just get ya all riled up.”
“TERRORISTS ABDUCT CHILDREN—Nope. Too scary.”
“LOCAL REP ACCUSED OF EMBEZZLEMENT—”

“What’s ‘bezelment, Uncle Loop?”

“Ferget it kid. Way too boring . Here’s another one.”

“TRUMP IN BED WITH CLINTON—”

The small voice turns suddenly shrill. “That one! Read me that one, Uncle Loop. It’s a bedtime story.” Continue reading →

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Tagged as conspiracy, conspiracy theory, donald trump, elections, false flag, false flag candidate, hillary clinton, national elections, president, presidential race, primaries, primary, run for the presidency, split the ticket, splitting the ticket

July 14, 2015 · 5:43 pm

CROSSTOWN CLASSIC

by John Jonelis

Here in Chicago, we’re blessed with two professional baseball teams. I root for them both—yes, for me it’s Chicago against the world. But how many fans do that? Almost nobody, right? Whenever I betray my crosstown allegiance, people look at me cross-eyed. Continue reading →

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Tagged as cubs vs sox, cubs/sox, fans, interdivisional rivalry, long standing rivalry, major league baseball, pro ball, professional baseball, rabid fans, rivalry, sox vs cubs, sox/cubs, team rivalry

July 1, 2015 · 1:20 am

HOW TO TREAT THE OLD MAN

By John Jonelis

Here’s the right way to treat your old man: For Father’s Day, take him where you’ll boat 402 hard-fighting northern pike, the trophy of a lifetime, and as many fat walleye as you want—all in four days. That’s 4 minutes per fish—not counting walleye! Maybe the Old Man’s memory isn’t showing signs of improvement lately, but he’ll remember this trip the rest of his days. It’s a glimpse of paradise. Continue reading →

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Tagged as all the comforts of home, close to heaven, fishing paradise, heaven on earth, north woods, paradise, paradise on earth, wilderness outpost

June 2, 2015 · 10:47 pm

HAWKS

by Mark T. Wayne

“Quit talking business! This is important!” A shocking pronouncement coming from one’s employer! I go mum. We sit behind thick glass, watching the Chicago Blackhawks clobber the Anaheim Ducks in the final game of the series. The Hawks will win this game and go on to the coveted Stanley Cup. That is correct, sir—an opportunity for a third championship in just a few years! Continue reading →

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Tagged as arena, athlete, blackhawks, blades, blood, bloodthirsty, blue line, check, coliseum, crowd, Drunk, felon, goal, goon, hawks, hockey, ice, ice skates, iceskates, menace, post, puck, rude, skates, spectator, sports, stadium, stick, taves, thug, toews, violence, writer

May 13, 2015 · 5:17 pm

KIDNAPPED

By Mark T. Wayne

Weeks have passed since my last conscious memory. Weeks, I say! A man can lose his hat and perhaps even his pants, but to lose several weeks is inexcusable. Think what mischief might transpire over such a span of time! Continue reading →

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Tagged as Abduction, amnesia, bull terrier, Chicago, dog, freshkills, holland tunnel, kills, murder capital of the world, new jersey, New York, paul bunyan, pet, staten island, story

January 31, 2015 · 1:36 am

SABBATICAL

By Mark T Wayne

“He’s in Tahiti,” says Loop Lonagan. “Dat’s where Jonelis is. Them guys at Heartland Angels oughta know.”

Speaking strictly for myself, I see no excuse for a man like Lonagan and place no weight on his opinions. I may fire him—I have not yet decided. After all, Jonelis ain’t here. He announced a sabbatical and disappeared. That is correct, sir! I am in charge! That is my hat on the hook. Those are my boots resting on the WWII Air Force desk. I will take this opportunity to exercise my power as I see fit. Any fool that criticizes my splendid white suit or magnificent mustache may face instant dismissal! Continue reading →

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Tagged as britian, brittian, brittish isles, flying across the ocean, iceland, lost, missing, Mystery, sabatical, sabattical, sabbatical, time off, trip, vacation, where's waldo

January 9, 2015 · 10:28 pm

UNDERESTIMATING THE COMPETITION

by Robert Jonelis

Ever face a crisis situation? Raw panic? Of course you have. We’ve all been burned by miscalculation, greed, and shoddy research. People have been making the same mistakes for quite a long time and a young woman from the 10th Century can teach us a pointed lesson about the importance of accurately sizing up the competition. Continue reading →

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Tagged as bankrupsy, belly up, best practices, business lessons, busniess mistakes, case study, consequences, crisis, Greed, miscalculation, Panic, Princess Olga, research, shoddy research

December 22, 2014 · 10:16 pm

A LOOP LONAGAN CHRISTMAS

John Jonelis

This is outrageous. I’m concentrating on my computer screen when a huge mitt grabs me by the back of the belt and plucks me from my chair. Next thing I’m dangled high over the desk, arms and legs flailing till I steady my balance and end up nose-to-nose with Big Bill Blair, our urban Paul Bunyan.

“‘Scuse me, Mr. Jonelis,” he says in a slow polite rumble that carries with it a stale smell of corned beef and cigar.

Big Bill slowly chews gum. Looks disinterested. Acts like nothing’s unusual. Continue reading →

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Tagged as blond, cheer, Christmas, Christmas ornaments, Christmas party, Christmas presents, Christmas tree, Christmastime, dancing, fist fight, good times, hard times, Holiday, Holiday season, prayer, santa claus, street people, stretch humvee, swedish massage